


Don't Look (Okay Maybe Just a Little Peek)

by AbsentMinds



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/M, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Tumblr Prompt, accidentally walking in on someone in the shower, and to not be at work, i apparently can't write anything without it turning at least a little angsty I'm sorry, i don't think about what i post too deeply or i would never post any of my stuff, i'm not even sure what this even is lmao, it was so warm when i was writing this you can see that all i wanted was a cold shower, like i considered turning this into a smutty fic but then it got some hints of angst, lmao can't believe i wrote this at work but okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25883344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbsentMinds/pseuds/AbsentMinds
Summary: When Nesta's shower isn't working, there's no way in hell she's giving up her shower after work. Not when it's such a hot summers day, and she had to walk home. She decides to use Cassian's shower, only to come to regret it.This was originally a one-shot, but it seems that every time I post a new chapter I get requests for more. For that reason, I've decided that this is now a multi-chapter fic. It's going to be prompt-based, so if there's anything you'd like to see happen then let me know!
Relationships: Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 31
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prompt I received on my tumblr, which I'm very grateful for! I was originally going to make it smutty but then it turned a little angsty instead and then it didn't feel like a very smutty vibe lmao I'm sorry. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy! Please let me know if there are any mistakes.

Nesta was sweaty and disgusting. She had walked back from the bus stop because Cassian was working late and couldn't pick her up. When Nesta had first moved into Cassian's flat, she hadn't realised there would be so many upsides to living with him. She had just needed a place to live that was cheap, in a relatively safe neighbourhood, and close to public transport points since she didn't drive.

Unfortunately, Cassian being Cassian, liked to remind her often that there were many, many downsides to living with him. Like when he would eat the last of her chocolate and not buy any more, or even bother telling her. Or like when he kept bringing home girls and they were loud enough to keep her up all night when he knew she had work the next morning. Nesta was no prude and knew that someone like Cassian would be sought after by women a lot; she wasn't blind. She didn't care what Cassian did and who he slept with, but she did care when it started affecting her sleep. Thankfully, Cassian hadn't been bringing home many girls anymore. She wasn't sure if it was her angry screaming at him (although that didn't seem to affect him any other time she yelled at him), or if it was just because he had been too busy to pick up any women recently. Still, she wasn't going to complain about being able to get a good night's rest. Her job as a receptionist at a doctor's surgery meant she often had to wake up at disgustingly early times to get to work and open the surgery. Not having a car certainly didn't help how early she had to wake up either. 

Nesta walked back from the bus stop with the heat beating down on her. She had been uncomfortably warm all day anyway, and this walk was not helping things. She felt disgusting and knew she probably looked a mess. She had stopped caring frankly. She just wanted to go home and have a shower.

That was another big bonus of living in the flat; they had separate bathrooms. Nesta was glad because she could not share a bathroom with Cassian and the 2 hours he liked to spend doing his hair. Also, it meant less chance of running into one of the many women he slept with in the mornings. Somehow, they were all beautiful even with last night's make up smudged on their face, a bad case of sex hair and wearing one of Cassian's shirts. Nesta didn't even bother trying with her appearance, not when people like that existed, and came to her flat regularly. That was another reason Nesta was secretly glad Cassian wasn't bringing as many girls around recently. Those girls always had something that Nesta wished she had, their hair, the way they dressed, their make-up skills, their height. Nesta had eventually realised that perhaps what she wanted was Cassian. But that was impossible because they hated each other, right? Either way, it was not something that Nesta wanted to think about too much. After Tomas, Nesta had given up on men. The idea that she could not hate Cassian was too much for her to think about.

Nesta took a deep breath, both to clear her mind and because she was getting warm and out of breath. She had finally reached their building and thank the gods, was lovely and cool. She opened the door to her flat, and almost collapsed from the relief. Her feet were sore from walking in the heat, her shoulders were aching from carrying her bags on the walk up, and she felt uncomfortably sticky. Nesta forced herself to walk to her room rather than collapse on the sofa in a disgusting mess and just have a nap. Instead, she quickly dumped her stuff on the floor in her room and stripped down to get in the shower.

Nesta pressed the button for her shower to come on and braced for the cold water to finally hit her and soothe her, only for nothing to happen. Nesta opened her eyes and looked at the shower, pressing the button again. Nothing happened. No water came out; the power button on her shower didn't even light up. She pushed it again, a sinking feeling settling in her stomach. No water came out, no light turned on, which she was expecting. She knew that was it. Her shower was broken.

Nesta cursed everything, muttering to herself angrily as she got out of her shower. She still needed to shower. There was no way she could carry on with her evening smelling the way she did. She walked out into her bedroom and checked her phone. It was only 4.30 pm. Cassian wouldn't be back for another hour yet so that meant she could use his bathroom, and he'd be none the wiser.

Nesta didn't give herself time to hesitate; she just grabbed her towel and ran into Cassian's bathroom, quickly jumping into his shower. Nesta took a deep breath, said a little prayer and turned the shower on, and almost cried with joy as the shower turned on. Nesta only let herself enjoy the cold water running over her for 5 minutes before she started washing her hair with Cassian's fancy shampoo. What Cassian didn't know wouldn't hurt him. Her shampoo was whatever brand she could get on sale, but Cassian, being obsessed with his hair, bought fancy shampoo that was probably worth more than she was.

As she rinsed the shampoo out of her hair, the door suddenly burst open, causing Nesta to let out a shrill scream, her eyes widening as she saw Cassian frozen in the doorway of the bathroom, still in his suit he wore to work. Nesta had very stupidly not locked the door because she didn't expect Cassian back so soon, and now she was paying for it. The shower was a cube, and the shower screen was, in fact, transparent. She knew without a doubt that Cassian could see  _ everything.  _

"Cassian! What are you doing? Get out!" Nesta screamed, turning her body away from Cassian, embarrassment coursing through her. Nesta knew Cassian had seen many naked women before, and certainly knew she was alright in terms of her body, but she wasn't like those model type girls Cassian slept with. She tried to cover herself up as best she could with her arms, glaring at him as he finally sprang into life.

"What am I doing? What are you doing? This is my bathroom, remember? Did you miss that when you walked through  _ my  _ room to get to it?" Cassian asked, keeping his eyes on her face, thankfully not straying to the rest of her body, although she knew there was no way he couldn't have seen everything, even if he was being polite and not looking now.

"My shower isn't working, and it's warm. I didn't think you'd be home so soon!" Nesta said, getting defensive now. Why was he still here?

"Fine, I'll let the landlord know," Cassian said, and finally left the room, closing the door behind him.

Nesta finished the rest of her shower as quick as she could, her embarrassment curling in the pit of her stomach, not leaving, unfortunately for her. As she got out of the shower, she realised that she hadn't bought any clothes with her either. She hadn't expected Cassian home early, and so she had just assumed she could walk out in her towel. And now she had no choice. She just hoped Cassian was busy and didn't see her. But then again, he had probably seen it all now, plus her towel wasn't short. It went up to her knees, but she just wished she had more than a towel now that Cassian was home.

She opened the door of the bathroom slowly and peered out for any signs of Cassian in his room. When she realised the coast was clear, she walked as fast as she could out of his bedroom, and across to her room, quickly shutting the door and breathing a sigh of relief.

"Oh, erm, sorry. I didn't realise you were done. I was just checking your shower," Cassian quickly walked out of her bathroom, looking sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding even looking at her.

"Right, thanks I guess," Nesta said stupidly because of course, Cassian would see her naked, and in a towel on the same day.

"Yeah. No problem. I'll just, erm, leave you," he said, awkwardly exiting.

Nesta got into her pyjamas at top speed, not wanting to risk Cassian seeing her undressed any longer. Once an oversized shirt and shorts safely covered her (it was unfortunately too warm for anything more, as much as she would’ve liked to), she sat on her bed and rubbed her hands on her face. She knew, their relationship, whatever it had been before, was ruined now. The comfortable silences, the annoying but still kind of friendly banter, the jokes, the eye-rolling, the annoyance, would now all be gone. Cassian was probably disgusted or something, probably thought she looked gross. It was not what her ego needed. Not that she needed her ego boosting by Cassian. She didn't care what he thought. It was just that Cassian was the first guy to see her naked since Tomas. Yeah, that's all it is.

A part of Nesta wanted to avoid Cassian forever, but the more sane part of her knew that was impossible. She lived with him, and her sister and his brother were dating, so they often ended up spending time together. Plus, she did like getting a lift to work, and Cassian cooked for her too. Ugh, why did he have to come home early and make everything so much more complicated?

Nesta decided she couldn't lock herself into her room for the rest of her life, as much as she would like to, since she was starving. She had to leave her room to get food. Hopefully, Cassian was also hiding in his bedroom. But of course, as she left her room, she could hear the TV and reminded herself that Cassian never did anything that would make things easy on her.

Nesta walked into the kitchen, hoping Cassian wouldn't interact with her. She wasn't sure if she was able to process anything else happening today. She started to get stuff out to make herself a sandwich so she could take it back to her room and continue hiding.

"You know, I think we should have a new house rule. No clothes. We should just wander around naked all the time now," Cassian looked up from the TV screen and grinned like the idiot he was. Nesta ignored the way her heart sped up at the sight of him looking at her.

"What on earth are you babbling on about now Cassian? Have you finally lost your mind?" Nesta said, not looking up from her sandwich, trying her best to ignore him.

"I probably have. I think seeing you naked has made me lose my brain cells."

Nesta froze, and then slowly looked up at Cassian while clutching the butter knife like a dagger. "I didn't know you had any brain cells, to begin with," she managed to grind out.

"I had some, but now I don't. All that's up here now," he tapped on his forehead and wiggled his eyebrows, "is the image of you naked and in my shower."

Nesta flushed in a mixture of both anger and embarrassment. "Shut up. We're never talking about that again. I was stupid and forgot to lock the door. You've seen somethings that will give you nightmares, but I'm too poor to afford your therapy sessions, so we're going to be adults and suppress the trauma and never speak about it again. Got it?" Nesta glared at Cassian.

Cassian's face flashed with a funny mix of emotions that Nesta didn't understand, and then settled back to neutral. "Nightmares? Do you think me seeing you naked is going to give me nightmares?" Cassian looked at Nesta's face, searching for an answer.

"Well yeah, duh. I know how I look."

"Clearly not if you think I'm going to be having nightmares. I'm more likely to have a wet dream sweetheart."

Nesta frowned at Cassian. "Shut up. You don't have to lie!" She snarled. She knew what she looked like. Tomas had told her, and she had seen in a mirror. She was too skinny, her hair too short, she was too tall, she didn't have big boobs that men loved, they were just average. She had a resting bitch face and a personality to match. There was a reason she was single. People like Tomas were the only ones interested in her, and she just didn’t want to deal with those kinds of people. She was better off alone. 

Something in Cassian changed, and he was over to her before she could blink. He pulled the butter knife out of her hand and put it down, and then kept a hold of her hand. "Who says I'm lying sweetheart? Let me tell you a few truths since you don't seem to realise that you look like a goddess. The way you smell like me turns me on so much I can't even be mad at you for using my stuff, and seeing you in that towel was torture because all I wanted to do was throw it to the floor and do such dirty, filthy things to you. I didn’t want to stop until you were writhing beneath me, screaming my name and begging me. Seeing you in the shower made my brain freeze because I've had that dream so many times, I thought I was dreaming again for a second." Cassian leaned in closer, until there was barely any space between them, his voice much quieter now, barely above a whisper. "It doesn't matter what I do; I can't stop thinking about you. At work, in bed, at the gym, when I’m with my brothers, all the time, all I think about is you. Any time you yell at me, I leave our argument half hard. Living with you is the best thing I've ever done, but cauldron, it's been hell for my dick. I feel like a horny teenager. The worst thing is, I didn't even realise what was going on in my heart until I called your name out one night when I came. The girl I was with, well, she wasn't impressed, to say the least."

Nesta shuddered, Cassian's breath tickling her ear and her neck with a light, teasing caress. Her eyes were wide, and she couldn't make herself look away from Cassian, even though she knew she should. She knew this was dangerous. She just couldn't help but stare at this glorious man in front of her, his hair mess, like he had been running his fingers through his hair. He had changed out of the suit he had been wearing when he arrived home and was now wearing some grey joggers and a stupidly tight t-shirt.

She simply watched Cassian, not knowing how to react. She didn't want to lean forward, to try and kiss him, in case that broke something, or in case he was lying. However, the more he spoke, the more he confused her. Surely, he couldn't be talking about her like this? Surely he didn't think she was sexy? But as she watched Cassian's eyes drift down to her lips, she realised that perhaps, maybe he did. She gave him a quick once over, mulling his words over in her mind. As her gaze drifted down, she noticed a bulge in Cassian’s joggers, which did nothing to hide it and  _ oh, wow _ was her only thought. Surely that wasn’t because of what he’d seen? 

Nesta quickly looked away, hoping Cassian hadn’t noticed where her gaze had lingered. One look at a smirking Cassian told her he had. With that adding to her embarrassment from the rest of her eventful day, grabbed her sandwich and walked to her room quickly. As she reached her bedroom door, she turned around to look at Cassian, who was still frozen where they had both been. He turned to look at her, and she now recognised the hunger in his eyes.

"If that's the way you see me, then maybe I need a new mirror," she said, shutting her bedroom door behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 was requested by so many people, so here you go! This was a prompt from tumblr user @bookstantrash so thank you!

Cassian was staring at the ceiling. He had the fan blowing on him, the windows were open, and he was in his boxers, but he still couldn't sleep. All he could think of was the events from yesterday afternoon. He closed his eyes and cursed the gods for taunting him. There was no other way to explain it. Cassian had been head over heels in love with Nesta for what felt like forever but was more likely to be a few months after meeting her nearly 3 years ago. He had been the one that had suggested living with her, thinking he could handle it, but it had been pure torture. 

Nesta had always been so put together, full of fire and looked as though she would rip his balls off if he dared to even breathe wrong, and he had loved it. Seeing her first thing in the morning, wearing oversized shirts that were extremely faded, and her hair a mess, her eyes barely open had been too much for Cassian to bear when he had first seen her. Now, almost a year of them living together, it still took his breath away, he had just gotten better at hiding his reaction to her, or so he hoped. Either way, she didn’t snap at him for funnily staring at her anymore. 

He had thought that would be the best version of Nesta he could ever see. That was the soft side of Nesta, which only a privileged few could say they had seen, and Cassian could add his name to that very shortlist. The horny side of him had decided that the best version of Nesta was the version he had seen yesterday. The horny part of his brain seemed to take over a lot when it came to Nesta which was unfortunate. This was even worse than when she walked around with no bra on under her shirts and he could see the faint outline of her nipples poking through.

Cauldron, he felt like such a pervert. He felt incredibly guilty for walking in on Nesta in the shower. He was an idiot. He should've been paying attention when he had gotten home, but he hadn't because he had just assumed Nesta wasn't home yet. He had planned on just having a quick piss and then asking Nesta if she needed picking up since she hadn't texted him. He hadn't even noticed the shower running, although after he had left the bathroom, it was the loudest sound he'd ever heard. 

He had just barged into the bathroom, and gods above, he was so fucked. He had only caught a glimpse of what he had known was under her clothes all along, the thoughts he had tried not to linger on all this time. The pert breasts, rosy coloured nipples, the round ass that he just wanted to take a bite out of, her soft-looking skin, the little patch of hair between her legs that he just wanted to sink into, with his mouth, fingers or dick, he wasn’t particularly fussy, he just wanted to taste her. 

Cassian let out a small groan of frustration as he closed his eyes, images of Nesta flashing in his mind no matter how much he tried to wish them away. Just brilliant, now he was warm  _ and _ horny. He was never going to sleep now. At least tomorrow was Saturday and he didn't have to go to work. He knew that if he turned up to work with shadows under his eyes and irritated, his brothers would easily figure out what the cause of his sleeplessness was. He had managed to pass Friday off as the unbearable summer heat keeping him up at night, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to make them fall for that one twice in a row. They had seemed suspicious when he had given his excuse but had let it go when Mor had changed the subject. He had never been more grateful for Mor in his life. He knew that she would probably grill him afterwards though, the price of her help was always gossip. 

His brothers thought it was hilarious that he was so gone for Nesta. They had never seen Cassian pining for someone. The pining was made even more interesting by Nesta's cold outward demeanour, and the way she rebuffed his attempts at flirting with her. Cassian knew there was more to it than Nesta being some ice queen. He knew that her shitty ex must have done a number on her. He saw the way that even Feyre was so soft and careful with Nesta when it came to certain topics. She hadn't been at first, but she must've found something out. Found out what that dickhead Tomas had done. 

Cassian couldn't stop thinking about the way Nesta had looked when he had cornered her in the kitchen. Not just how beautiful she looked in her pyjamas, her wet hair shoved up haphazardly, the slight blush on her cheeks from the embarrassment of being seen by Cassian in such a vulnerable state. No, Nesta was shocked. Shocked that Cassian would ever have feelings for Nesta, that he would ever think of her in that way. 

Maybe she had written off all of his flirting attempts as him joking around, he had never wanted to try seriously because of the fear of rejection. He didn’t want to make things awkward, to ruin what they already had. If things went south, he knew Nesta would cut off their friend circle, and he couldn’t live with that. But the fact that Nesta had never noticed the other men and women who flirted with her when they were out, the lingering stares. That surprised Cassian. He had just assumed she knew what she looked like, the effect she had on people.

He hoped that Nesta’s comment before she left to go to her room the other day meant that perhaps, she was slowly starting to change her mind about herself. That she would see herself the way she was, not the way that dickhead Tomas had made her see herself. She deserved better than that. 

Cassian eventually snapped out of his Nesta musings. He hadn’t seen her since they had spoken in the kitchen, since Cassian had opened his big fat mouth. He hoped he hadn’t scared her off. He hoped that she was just busy with work, and that’s why he hadn’t seen her all day. That had happened to them before. But if she was avoiding him, Cassian wasn’t sure his heart could handle that. 

Feeling even more restless now, Cassian decided to get up and get himself some water to drink. Maybe he’d take a sleeping pill and pass the fuck out because he wasn’t sure he could deal with 2 days in a row of not sleeping properly. 

He got up, pulling on some joggers just in case Nesta happened to be up at this time. He doubted it, Nesta slept at old people times, but still, he wouldn’t want to parade around in just his boxers and make her uncomfortable. 

He opened his door, only to come face to face with the woman who had ruined his sleep for 2 nights in a row now. She looked surprised, but then quickly neutralised her expression, and stepped away slightly after noticing just how close they were. 

“Nes, are, erm, is everything okay?”

Nesta was in her pyjamas, her hair slightly messy like she had been tossing and turning before she decided to get up. Her eyes were bright and alert, so she hadn’t just woken up. Perhaps Cassian wasn’t the only one unable to sleep.

“I… fine. I just, I was wondering, I mean-” Nesta rubbed her face, her frustration visible across her face. She took a deep breath, as though to ground her, and then tried again. “I just wanted to apologise for making things awkward with everything that happened.” Nesta’s face flushed slightly as she spoke. 

“Oh. You don’t need to apologise, it’s not your fault. I should’ve been paying attention. I’m sorry I made you feel uncomfortable, and for any of the dumb things I said afterwards.”

Nesta was silent and still. She didn’t move beyond the rise and fall of her chest. She just stared at Cassian in a way that was almost unnerving. Like she was analysing him for any little weakness. 

“You surprised me.”

Cassian’s eyebrows raised slightly at her admission. “What I said in the kitchen?” Nesta nodded slowly, her eyes now studying his, as though she was trying to look for some hidden meaning in them. “It’s true. I was afraid it would somehow ruin things, so I never said anything, but I used to practice how to ask you out in the mirror. Before you moved in before I found out you were with-” He cut himself off, not wanting to mention Tomas’ name in case it somehow upset her. 

“If things had been different, would you have?” 

“I’m not sure, I’m not sure I would have been brave enough. I’d like to think so. But either way, it doesn’t matter. What matters is now. Nesta Archeron, please, put me out of my misery and go out with a date with me?”

He couldn’t hide the hope on his face as he stared down at Nesta. 

“Okay.”

Cassian felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll give it a shot.”

Cassian couldn’t help the big smile spread across his face. “I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t regret it. Thank you.”

Nesta smiled slowly, and Cassian felt like he had been punched in the chest. She was stunning, breathtaking, and she had agreed to go on a date with him. He was the luckiest bastard in the world. 

“Actually, I should thank you. You made me realise something.”

“What?” He asked breathlessly. 

“That I need to re-evaluate the way I see myself.” With that, she smiled, and leaned in, standing on her tiptoes to give him a quick peck on the cheek before walking back to her bedroom. 

Cassian was in a daze. He could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks. He felt like a 12-year-old, blushing because he had been kissed by a pretty girl. But Nesta Archeron wasn’t just a pretty girl, she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. She was a wildfire, but he was more than willing to get burnt by her. As Cassian got back into bed, completely forgetting why he had gotten out of bed in the first place, and unable to wipe the dopey smile on his face, his cheek still tingling from where Nesta had kissed him, he couldn’t help but think that perhaps things were looking up for Cassian and Nesta. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say, we just love a soft Cassian. Seems like I'm on a bit of a roll this week when it comes to posting content so hopefully you should get more of my other fic soon too (the Nessian pregnancy fic). 
> 
> As always, please come chat to me on  tumblr  and if anyone has any requests or prompts please feel free leave them in the comments or send them to me on tumblr.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a prompt I received on Tumblr, "dance with me".
> 
> Day 1 of nanowrimo is looking promising, but idk if the rest of the month will be this good...

Nesta was in a good mood. She had the day off work, and she was home alone. She had just finished reading a book which had a really cute ending, and it had left her feeling happy and light. She also supposed that Cassian also had something to do with her good mood, as much as she was loathed to admit it to anyone, especially Cassian. 

Things had changed between Cassian and Nesta. It had been just over a week since that disastrous day he had walked in on her in the shower, but somehow miraculously, things had taken a turn for the better. Nesta still couldn't quite believe that Cassian was interested in her, that he had asked her on a date, but then she would catch the way he looked at her from the corner of her eye and realise that no, it was true. She still couldn't quite believe that he was looking like that. It seemed so out of the blue, except, he did flirt with her a lot. She had assumed he was joking but he had just been too scared to ask her on a date. He had said he used to practice in the mirror! 

She didn't want to admit it, but the thought of Cassian practising how to ask her on a date like some sort of love-struck teenager made her laugh. It also made her feel warm and fuzzy, something that Nesta Archeron was not well known for. It was really sweet and cute, which was not a way that she thought she would ever end up describing Cassian. But the more she got to know Cassian, she realised that she didn't really know him at all until she started living with him. She had known Cassian before, obviously, otherwise, she wouldn't have agreed to live with him. But before living with him she had never seen the way he was a morning person, and how he loved to cook, and how he likes soft things so his flat is full of fluffy blankets and soft pillows. 

Thinking about Cassian did give her a warm fuzzy feeling, and she wasn't quite sure what to do about it. It was strange. She had never felt anything like this, certainly not as strong as this. She had never thought she would feel this way, especially after Tomas. She had known, somewhere in the back of her mind that she had some sort of feelings for Cassian, but she had ignored them. Dealing with something like that is too dangerous after Tomas. 

Cassian always seemed to force her out of her comfort zone, and this was no different. She now couldn't ignore her feelings, which was something she was comfortable doing. However, despite the uncomfortable feeling, and the slight anxiety, seeing Cassian so happy about agreeing to go on a date with him seemed to calm the anxiety. The goofy smile on his face was all she needed to think of to calm herself when thinking about her possible feelings towards him. 

But right now, she was thinking about the goofy look on Cassian's dumb face, while listening to the High School Musical 2 soundtrack and cleaning the kitchen. She had a red velvet cake in the oven because after she had finished reading she felt like baking. She was in her pyjamas still, with no bra on because why would she put her boobs in their jail on her day off? 

Nesta couldn't quite help herself as she started singing along with  _ Bet On It _ , which always pumped her up. Plus, the High School Musical 2 soundtrack was brilliant, and she very rarely got to enjoy it blasting from the speakers because she was always too worried that Cassian would find out and laugh at her. But right now, even the idea of Cassian laughing at her couldn't bring her down. 

She finished filling the dishwasher up as  _ What Time Is It?  _ Came on shuffle, and Nesta couldn't even stop herself from dancing along to it as she cleaned the surfaces. She eventually just gave up even pretending that she was going to carry on cleaning, and dropped the spray and cloth, allowing herself to dance properly. 

She was having so much fun dancing, that she didn't hear the front door open, and she didn't notice Cassian leaning in the doorway of the kitchen, just watching Nesta with a look of awe on his face. Nesta turned around, and let out a little scream, not expecting Cassian to be stood there. She clutched her chest as she tried to calm down her heart rate, and turned the music down. 

"I wasn't expecting you to be home at," she glanced at her phone to check the time, "3 pm. How long have you been stood there?" She asked, almost hesitantly, bracing herself for the rude comments about how she's a child or laughing at her, or the number of other ways Tomas might have reacted. She could feel herself tensing up, as though she was about to receive a blow. With Tomas, she probably would've received a blow. She knew, somewhere in the back of her mind, that Cassian would never do that, but her instincts sometimes took over her body before her mind could talk her out of it. 

Cassian looked at her in that way of his, where she knew he was assessing the situation, what she was doing and how she was acting. She had always hated it, but before, it had made her angry, today, the anger made way for a new feeling. Today, she felt seen, like he could tell what was going on in her brain. It was unnerving, and she felt naked. She hated the way Cassian could just look at her and read her emotions when she tried so hard to keep those walls up. 

"I've not been home that long, don't worry." Cassian paused for a second, and then gave her a soft smile, that Nesta hated because it made her feel all weird and fluttery in her stomach. "I'm glad you've been having fun today. You deserve it." 

Nesta felt her cheeks heat at that. Somehow, his sincere and heartfelt comments always made her blush much easier than his dirty ones did. Maybe it was because he always made the dirty comments and jokes and she had gotten used to it, or maybe it was because she wasn't used to Cassian being so honest with his feelings for her, but she could feel her face heating. 

"Thanks, I've just had a nice day I guess," Nesta said with a shrug, trying to regain her calm and collected demeanour, but she knew she was failing. Thankfully, Cassian didn't comment on it and just smiled at her. 

"What have you been baking?" Cassian asked, his eyes lighting up as he noticed the cake in the oven. He raised his nose into the air, sniffing like a dog trying to figure out what she had put in the oven. 

Nesta raised her eyebrows, trying to look unimpressed. "It's a red velvet cake because I was craving one." 

Cassian's eyes went wide with excitement, as he rubbed his stomach. "Gods, I love red velvet cake," he said, closing his eyes and licking his lips thinking about the cake. 

Nesta couldn't help but track the movement of his tongue on his luscious looking lips. Suddenly she couldn't think properly, she couldn't think of anything but Cassian's lips. Cassian, noticing the silence, opened his eyes, and grinned when he realised where Nesta's gaze had been fixed. 

Before Cassian could open his mouth to say anything stupid that would annoy or embarrass Nesta, she put her music back up. Her Spotify had now started playing  _ You Are The Music In Me.  _ Nesta decided to throw all caution to the wind, and ask, "Dance with me?" 

She looked up at Cassian, trying not to let it show on her face how nervous she now was. Cassian's face went slack, almost exactly like it had when he had seen her in the shower. Nesta started pulling her hand away, but Cassian grabbed onto it and used it to pull her closer. Another soft smile covered his face as he looked down at her as they started swaying. 

"I didn't know you were a High School Musical fan." 

"It's the greatest film of our generation. Also, which kid didn't have a crush on Zac Efron?" 

Cassian let out a booming laugh. "That's valid I suppose, although I was more of a Camp Rock fan myself. I mean, have you seen those Jonas brothers?" 

Nesta froze in his arms, glaring up at him. "Camp rock was good, but I can't believe you're saying it's better than High School Musical. I'm not sure I can go on a date with someone who thinks like that. Or even live with them. I might have to move out." 

Nesta couldn't help but let out a small laugh as she felt Cassian's grip tighten as she tried to move away. She looked up at his dumb face to see that he was pouting. 

"I'm sorry I have terrible taste in terrible films, please don't leave me for it." 

Nesta was quiet, staring, at his lips again, so big and pouty. Cassian realised once again what her eyes were focused on, and went quiet, his eyes dilating as he took in Nesta, and how close she was to him. Cassian's chest was definitely moving faster than it usually was, and Nesta could tell it wasn't from their terrible attempt at dancing to High School Musical. It sent a thrill down Nesta's spine, the fact that she had this kind of effect on Cassian. She pressed her body against his, still swaying to the music, although Cassian seemed to be just following her lead. She wasn't entirely sure he even knew what he was doing, he seemed too lost looking at Nesta. 

Cassian's breath hitched as Nesta pressed herself against him. He broke his gaze from her lips to look down at their connected bodies, noticing the way her boobs pressed against his chest, her hips pressing dangerously close to his. She knew if she shifted a little, she might even feel the hard outline of his dick, pressing against his trousers, but didn't dare push things that far. 

She tilted her head up, not sure if she wanted to kiss him, but knew she wanted her face closer to him. Cassian was frozen now, his chest wasn't moving at all. She wasn't entirely sure if he was even breathing. 

Perhaps it was a good thing, but she couldn't help but curse internally as the timer went off to let her know the cake needed to come out of the oven. It startled her enough that she quickly pulled back from Cassian, flushing as she did. She tried to distract herself with the cake, but she could feel Cassian's eyes on her. 

"I'll leave you to it," Cassian rasped out. Nesta couldn't help but feel a little proud, knowing that was because of her. 

She turned around and smiled, trying to will the blush on her cheeks to calm down. "Do you want me to call you when the cake is done?" 

"Nah it's fine, I'll have my slice after dinner. I'll cook since you made dessert." He winked, and then quickly scuttled off to his room. 

Nesta bit the inside of her cheek, trying not to smile too much when she noticed the strange way that Cassian walked, and realised that perhaps she had a bigger effect on Cassian than she had ever realised. She decided that she quite enjoyed having that kind of an effect on Cassian. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to write fic for nanowrimo since I have so many wips i wanna finish so who knows, maybe between that and Boris putting us into another lockdown, I might post regularly? Idk though, since I am a key worker. 
> 
> If you wanna send me prompts for any ship or fic, hmu I'm @perseusannabeth on tumblr, or leave me a comment!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian freaks out about the fact he asked Nesta on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know it's been a while since I updated this fic (oops). Fingers crossed I'll be back to posting more regularly. 
> 
> This was originally going to be the date chapter, but then it turned into Cassian having a pre-date freakout, so the next chapter (which I am currently writing) is going to be the date! 
> 
> For anyone who is also reading Bottled Up Storms (my nessian pregnancy fic), I haven't forgotten about that fic! I am gonna write the next chapter once I have written chapter 5 of this fic.

Cassian had been on many dates in his life and had not been affected by them in the slightest. This date was very different though, and Cassian was shitting himself. When Cassian had asked Nesta on a date, he had just blurted it out. He couldn’t help himself. Talking to Nesta about how badly he had wanted to ask her on a date when they first met had reminded Cassian of the way his desperation to woo Nesta had consumed him. He would say that it had calmed down, but he was well aware that it had only done so because he now had the chance to interact with her every day. 

Cassian had known three months after meeting Nesta what the perfect date would be for her. He had planned it all out in his head, and over the almost 3 years of knowing each other, Cassian had changed and perfected the details of his imaginary first date with Nesta. The fact that he was now going to take Nesta on this perfect date was absolutely nerve-wracking for him. 

He had finally caved and told Azriel about the date. He had considered Mor at first, but the woman couldn’t keep her mouth shut at all. Still, Azriel with his smirks and raised eyebrows were pretty bad, but he had needed to talk to someone about it. He had made Azriel swear not to tell anyone about it, and although he knew how much his brother liked to gossip, Azriel would do that for him. 

When Cassian had told him what he had planned for his date with Nesta, Azriel had let out a whistle. “Are you sure you want to start your first date with that Cass? You’re really pulling out all the stops here, maybe take it easy for the first date?”

“Az, with all due respect I’ve been planning the perfect date with Nesta for almost 3 years. I have to do the date I’ve planned. I can’t take any chances, not when it comes to Nesta. I spent so many years fucking around with her and making those dumb jokes because I couldn’t be with her, and then because I was too afraid to take a step. Now that I’ve finally done that, I can’t fuck it up with a shit date. Everything needs to be perfect for her because that’s what she deserves,” Cassian said, running his hand through his hair, barely fighting the urge to pull at it. He knew he was putting a lot onto a first date, but it wasn’t just a first date, it was a first date with  _ Nesta. _

Azriel raised his hands in mock surrender, the corners of his mouth quirking slightly. “Fine, then what do you need me for? It sounds like you have the perfect date planned for Nesta, and you know Nesta much better than me so I doubt I’ll be any help in that department.”

Cassian sighed, resisting the urge to run his fingers through his messy hair. He was stressed about the date and knew he was probably making it worse for himself, but he had been waiting for this for so long that it was impossible not to freak out. 

“I’m just really fucking nervous, okay? I needed to tell someone who won’t be a gossiping busybody about everything. I love the others but you know what they’d be like. I needed to talk to someone about this, and you’re the only one I trust,” Cassian said, frustration colouring his voice. 

Azriel gave him a sympathetic smile and sat down next to him. “I won’t tell anyone. But what are you nervous about?”

“Fuck Az, you know why I’m nervous! This is a date with Nesta, so I’m shitting myself. What if I fuck it up? We live together so this could get messy. What if I make her uncomfortable? You know she has some sort of history too. I don’t want to make her move out after everything she’s been through. I couldn’t live with myself if she had to leave because I fucked it all up,” Cassian felt better for even voicing his concerns. He had kept them bottled up for so long, that it was nice to finally share them with someone. 

Cassian could see Azriel soften in front of him. Both of them knew that Nesta had been through something with Tomas, they all did, but nobody but Feyre and Elain knew the exact details. None of them had ever dared to ask, not even Rhys. They respected Nesta’s privacy too much to pry into her business. They all had their demons from their own pasts too. 

“Listen, we don’t know what Nesta’s been through, that’s true. But until she decides she’s comfortable sharing that with you, that can’t be something you think about. Yes, you can acknowledge the fact that you’re aware she has a past, but that shouldn’t be your focus. I know if someone did that with me I would hate it,” Azriel paused at the mention of his own dark past. Even though Cassian and Rhys knew about his past and all the gory details, he still very rarely spoke about it. “You need to be careful, yes, and respect her boundaries. Just take things slow, don’t rush into things and you’ll be fine. Don’t second guess Nesta’s decision to say yes to you though, because, at the end of the day, nobody knows her trauma like Nesta does. She clearly felt comfortable enough saying yes to your date.”

Hearing his brother speak about things in such a matter of fact tone, as well as relating things to himself, made Cassian feel better. He still didn’t feel entirely calm about his upcoming date with Nesta, but then again, he knew that nothing would make him feel calm about that. But he felt better for having Azriel reassure him that he hadn’t done anything wrong. Cassian didn’t trust himself not to fuck things up with Nesta, but if Azriel, the person who had the worst trauma out of the lot of them, said that he was okay, he could afford to breathe a little. 

Cassian stood up, Azriel standing with him. “Thank you so much,” Cassian said, putting his hand on Azriel’s arm. Azriel didn’t react, which was always a good sign, because if he reacted to physical contact then it usually meant he wasn’t comfortable. Even after all these years, he still had days where he couldn’t have anyone touch him. Cassian decided to see if Azriel was willing to go a little further since he seemed okay today. He held his arms open wide, silently asking his brother for a hug. These types of conversations always felt him drained and needing a hug.

Azriel gave him a small smile before nodding, allowing Cassian to hug Azriel. Azriel hugged his brother back, making sure that his hands didn’t touch his brother, but he had perfected the art of giving a good hug without his hands touching someone.

When Cassian pulled away he felt calmer, as though the storm raging inside his head had calmed down. “Thank you for your help.”

“No problem,” Azriel said with a shrug. “You’ll have to tell me how the date went though. I’m sure it’ll be perfect. You’re going to sweep her off her feet. She won’t know what hit her. I know if someone took me on a date like that I would probably fall in love with them too,” Azriel smirked.

Cassian laughed, shaking his head at his brother in amusement. “Az, is this your way of saying that you’re single because nobody has swept you off your feet?”

“Absolutely.”

“Well, I think it would take someone very special to sweep you off your feet.”

“I’m not sure someone like that even exists,” Azriel said, trying to keep his tone light, but Cassian saw the sadness in his eyes. 

“Oh she does, and I’m sure she’s out there and waiting to sweep you off your feet. You just have to have some hope.”

Azriel didn’t respond, and Cassian knew his brother well enough to not push a subject. Azriel would put himself out there when he was ready for dating, or when he found someone who made him want to date. Those people just happened to be rare, because the idea of opening up to someone was so foreign to his brother. 

Azriel let him out of his flat, wishing him luck on his upcoming date with a soft smile, making Cassian have to resist the urge to hug his brother again. He had already had one hug from him today, he didn’t want to push his luck. 

Cassian exited the building quickly and started his walk back to his shared flat with Nesta. Azriel lived fifteen-minutes away, so he had decided to walk over when he had started his freak out. When he had left, Nesta had been in bed, for which he was grateful. He knew Nesta was too observant for her own good sometimes and would have noticed that something was wrong with him.

The walk back to their flat helped Cassian get his thoughts in order. He had yet to talk to Nesta about the date, but now that he had talked it out with Azriel, he was sure that he wanted to go with his plan. Yes, he was aware it was a lot for a first date, but his first date with Nesta had to be perfect, she deserved only the best.

He walked into their flat with a big smile on his face, something that he couldn’t help doing since Nesta moved in with him. He had never cared about coming home before that, but since they started living together, he couldn’t help but rush to get out of work quicker, so he could pick her up from work, or make sure that they could spend time together in the evenings. Their shared evenings were some of the best evenings he had ever had. 

Nesta was sitting on the sofa watching TV, but she looked up as Cassian walked in, giving him a small smile and pausing her show. Cassian sat down on the other side of the sofa, making sure she had enough space. He didn’t want to crowd her, especially when he was about to talk about their date. 

“What are you watching?” Cassian asked, looking at the regency era costumes the people on the TV had on. 

“Pride and Prejudice.”

“But where’s Keira Knightley?” Cassian asked, scanning the screen for her.

Nesta let out an unimpressed snort. “This is the BBC version, with Colin Firth in it. It’s so much better than the Keira Knightley version, trust me.” 

“I’ll take your word for it,” Cassian said, smiling at Nesta’s very strong opinions on Pride and Prejudice adaptations. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes as Cassian worked up the nerve to finally bring up the topic of their date. 

“Nesta, I was wondering, what are you doing tomorrow afternoon and evening?” Cassian finally managed to force out. He hoped he didn’t sound too pained, but from Nesta’s little frown, he assumed that he had failed. 

“I… nothing? I might watch some more Netflix.”

“Would you like to go out on that date with me perhaps?” Cassian asked, not knowing where to look, and then deciding on looking down at his hands. 

The silence in the room was now much heavier than before. Cassian didn’t dare to look up, as his fears started flooding his brain again, all of Azriel’s pep talk gone from his head. What if Nesta didn’t want to go on a date with him anymore? Or what if Nesta didn’t feel comfortable going on a date with him, but had said yes because they lived together? What if things went wrong and Nesta felt the need to move out? What if Nesta was thinking of the best way to reject-

“I would love that,” Nesta said softly, pulling Cassian out of his spiralling thoughts. He looked up at her to see her smiling gently at him, as though she could tell what he was feeling, what he was thinking just now. 

Cassian smiled, feeling the relief course through him as he saw how genuine Nesta looked. He would have been able to tell if Nesta didn’t want to go on this date, and right now Nesta didn’t look like she was uncomfortable at all. 

“Okay, well would it be okay if we went for 3 pm tomorrow? Dress comfortably because we’ll have a lot of walking. It’ll all be indoors though so don’t worry about that. We can go to dinner afterwards too. Is that okay?”

Nesta nodded, smiling wider now. “Do I get to find out what we’re doing tomorrow?” 

“Would it make you uncomfortable if I said I wanted to keep it a surprise?” Cassian asked. He wanted to surprise Nesta, but if she didn’t want a surprise he was more than willing to tell her what he had planned, no matter how much he would love to see her surprised face when they got there. 

He watched as Nesta considered what he had said carefully, before replying. “I don’t need to know what we’re doing. I trust you enough to know you wouldn’t make me do something that I wouldn’t want to do or would make me uncomfortable. Is that all I need to know then? Just that we might do a lot of walking and it’ll be indoors?”

Cassian nodded, not able to reply because he was too busy being shocked by the fact Nesta had just said she trusted him. Nesta smiled at him, and then pressed play on Pride and Prejudice, before pulling her phone out from the blanket she had draped on her, and started texting. 

Cassian mumbled some sort of excuse, he wasn’t even sure what he said and walked back into his room. Once he shut the door, he sat on his bed and stared at the door, knowing that Nesta sat on the other side. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. Now that Nesta had agreed to the date, he had some things he needed to prepare. 

He pulled his laptop up and started gathering the numbers of places he needed to ring. He had some work to do to make this date perfect. He would make this a date that Nesta never forgot. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a prompt-based fic, so if there is anything, in particular, you guys would like to see, then please leave a comment, or send me an ask on my [tumblr!](https://perseusannabeth.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I have already started writing the next chapter of this fic, so hopefully, you'll be seeing me again soon! Follow me on tumblr for snippets of what I'm writing for this fic (and others!)

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave me any prompts either as a comment or send it to me on my [tumblr](https://perseusannabeth.tumblr.com/)!


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